


Ghosts in the Dark

by Jutschina



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:32:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4498914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jutschina/pseuds/Jutschina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack dies so often.. but what does he see before he comes back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghosts in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Coda to CoE Day 4 when Clem shoots Jack.

Well, it didn't come unexpected. And at least it was quick. It was far from being the worst death that Jack had died. More like the opposite, a relief. To look into the man's eyes - a boy's eyes - and feeling all the guilt coming back... actually, that was worse than the physical pain.

He'd lived for centuries but it never got easier. Not really.

And yet, as the sound of the gunshot filled the air and the bullet hit his chest, Jack wanted to scream, even though he knew that he'd be alright, that nothing was terminal for him. He'd still die, though. And the pain was right there.

He hit the ground hard and already he felt his life fading. He was so familiar with this feeling by now, that he just wanted to hurry it up - he wanted the pain to be over.

He heard Gwen saying something but he was too far gone already to understand what it was. His sight was blurring, all he could make out anymore was the grey ceiling of the hall. The last thing he noticed was how Ianto pulled his body into his arms... and it was over.

The darkness followed, as usual. Funny, how he died over and over again and never really remembered it, just like a strange nightmare that wakes you up in the middle of the night but then you wouldn't be able to retell what happened in it.

He'd wished to die quickly in order to end the pain. How was it possible that he always forgot that the darkness was so much worse?

Things were out there. Creeping. Memory flashes, but not the good ones. Ghosts. The first years it'd been few, but now there were many - so many ghosts.

All the people he'd lost, all the people he'd killed, all the people he'd let down. It was driving him mad.

Now, in the darkness of death, Jack screamed. Here he was without his coat, without his team, without the magic of the Time Agent from the 51st century. Instead, he was at his lowest.

It felt like it lasted for months. And so quickly he forgot that he actually would come back, yes, he was there and felt trapped forever with the ghosts of his past.

And so much darkness, and so many creeping monsters, growling and snapping for him.

His screams were unheard and unanswered here. "DOCTOR!" Naked and cold he lay in the dark, thinking of this mysterious man with his blue box and their adventures together. It didn't keep the fear away.

"Ianto..." The name he only whispered, covered in tears, trembling and trying not to lose his mind. "Ianto Jones..."

And still the pain and the night got to him.

Then it ended, sudden and fast, like a bucket of ice cold water dumped into his face.

Jack woke up up with a gasp, as if he'd been holding his breath. He winced, his chest hurting where the bullet had hit him, blank of any sort of orientation - except for one. There was an arm there that he could cling to, and a lap where he could rest his head, being hold safely by the one person he would love and trust forever.

Ianto Jones was there.

The same moment that his heart started beating again, Jack knew that Ianto was the one holding him. Life returned, the memories of death faded like they always did.

It took him a while to get back in. It always did, and it always hurt - after all, he'd been mortally wounded. He didn't let go of Ianto, and Ianto took care of him, as usual.

Gwen talking - Clem running away - Gwen following him - Rhys hesitating, looking at Jack for a moment, then following her - Jack sighed deeply, slowly relaxing in Iantos arms.

"Hey", the younger man murmured in a soft voice. "You're alright?"

Jack turned his head to look at Ianto. For one moment he was on the brink of giving in - as he was so often - but then he put on a smile. Ianto didn't smile back, his eyes were worried and heavy and sad.

"Yeah. Yes, I am", Jack answered, lying the big ol' lie. His brain started working again, his thoughts circled around the 456 and Clem and the children. Work to do. So much work.

But right now, with no one watching, he stayed where he was for another moment, safe and sound in Ianto's arms. He wanted to say something but he didn't... he never did.

_Thank you._

_No, I'm not alright._

_Just hold me._

_I love you._

 

If he'd just had known --- too late.

There is a new ghost in the darkness now.


End file.
